true confidence (and why it’s one of the most important leadership qualities)
One of the most critical components of good leadership is confidence. You must be confident in who you are and your purpose as a leader. When you lack self-confidence you are less likely to be hopeful about the future, causing you to be ineffective in your purpose. As a leader it is your job to see the possibilities and create a vision your team can believe in. Confident people know what they want and they know what they believe. This kind of conviction makes it easy for people to follow them.
The road to becoming a confident leader is going to look a little different to everyone. You may already have strength in this area from a life of accomplishments and encouragement from those around you. Or you may be rebuilding from a rocky road of mistakes and failures. It’s also going to look different based on the people you have around you. As nice as it would be, you are most likely not always going to have someone constantly complimenting you and building you up. In fact, you may deal with people regularly who consistently try to tear you down. You cannot rely on outside sources to build your confidence. Building your confidence from within is crucial if you want to be a successful leader.
Know your Why. To be a confident leader you must be confident in your purpose. You must know why you deserve to be where you are and how you can make a difference there.
Know your craft. Let me clarify, good leaders do not have to know everything. However, the more you know the more comfortable you will be, and the more comfortable you are the more confident you will be. Think about the difference in someone’s demeanor when they are speaking to a crowd about a subject they know very well versus something they aren’t that comfortable with. The more comfortable you are with something, the less you have to think about it and the more natural confidence you will have.
Remind yourself how awesome you are. I’m not talking about narcissism here, but I have felt the worthlessness that can creep in when you start to believe the lie that you’re not good enough, and sometimes it requires drastic action. Meditate on the things you like about yourself, the things you are good at, the things you have accomplished. Remind yourself of your purpose and what you want to give to the world. Think back on the most meaningful compliments you have received and believe that they are true.
Shift your perspective. When I slip into a place of toxic insecurity, I have to step out of myself and focus on the more important things around me. Often times, a random act of kindness or charity will allow me to focus on others and remind me of what matters. Things like taking time to pray for someone I know is hurting or in need, or looking for opportunities to compliment others. These things remind me who I truly am, but they also bring me back to the truth that it’s not about me and allow me to focus on the bigger things.
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”
Throw compliments like confetti. This is worth saying twice. A lot of us have a natural instinct to put others down when we are feeling insecure, as if it will make us feel better about ourselves to make someone else look small. It’s our negative feelings about ourselves being reflected in the way we treat other people. I challenge you to make this an unacceptable behavior for yourself. Instead, focus on finding ways to build others up. Without a doubt, this positive behavior alone will make you feel good about yourself. Additionally, you will win more people over this way, which only contributes to self-confidence.
Stop viewing everyone as competition. It is small-minded to think that someone else’s success is a threat to you. There is enough space for everyone. When you really come to terms with that you will learn to be happy for those around you when they succeed, rather than feeling like you aren’t good enough.
“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.”
You are going to get knocked down sometimes. Even the most confident people are vulnerable to insecurity and self-doubt. Learn to recognize the things that trigger you and develop strategies to combat them. To be an effective leader you need to have that true confidence that can’t be shaken, at least not permanently shaken. When you are confident in who you are and what you do, you can influence those you lead to be confident too, and that is one of the most powerful and meaningful purposes you can have.
