Why You Should Give Up the Pursuit of Happiness
I was once asked in a leadership training session, “What is the primary goal of everyone in this room?” The final answer was that we are all in pursuit of happiness. Everything we do is to reach some sort of contentment or satisfaction we believe is awaiting us. The answer made sense for the point that was being made in this particular setting. However, it got me thinking of how a lot of people see happiness as a destination somehow. I recently watched a movie where a young woman was asked what her goal was, and her response was “to be satisfied.” What exactly does that mean? When it comes to striving for something in life, happiness just doesn’t seem like a worthy feat.
I’m not saying I don’t want to be happy. That would be ridiculous and no one would believe it because it’s a lie. However, I wouldn’t say my greatest desire or my goal in life is to be happy. Happiness is a feeling, and it’s relative, and it’s fleeting. It just can’t be the end goal.
There are moments of happiness to be found in each day, even the darkest of days. We can be walking through a terrible storm and still feel contentment for what we do have- family, good health, a job we enjoy.. whatever it may be. I believe we can make our own happy.
Don’t get me wrong, I am no stranger to pain or darkness, and I know there are times when it is almost impossible to feel joy. A lot of life is hard, and sometimes happy is hard to find. But happiness comes and goes in many different facets. So is it a realistic goal to just be happy? Or should we set our sites on other desires and take the happiness that comes along the way?
I want to do more than just be happy. I want to make a difference. I don’t stay at work for an extra two hours in the pursuit of happiness. I stay because someone needs me and I have the power to help them. I believe those are the kinds of things that make a difference in the world. I think we should do more of those things. Let someone go before us in the grocery line, pay it forward in the drive-thru. I think we can find a lot of happy in those things, and by doing them we spread the happy around.
I have noticed the times when I generally feel the most discontent are the times I have gotten lost in selfish desires. When I have shifted my focus to myself for too long and on things that I want or don’t have, I am usually left feeling frustrated or unsatisfied. I have been reminded many times the powerful effect of doing good for others has on my mood and my overall happiness. When we live beyond ourselves, true happiness is the result. I think we are meant to help each other through this life, and in doing so we find the satisfaction we so wildly desire.
It makes sense that we all want to be happy. Life is short, and too much of it is hard. No one is above the desire for happiness. But I think we can do more than just be happy. I think if we shift our perspectives and focus on what we can do for others, we will find that happiness is more evident in our daily lives. And I think in doing so, we can make the world a better place.
“I have found that it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love.” ”
