Adversity, Resilience, and Doing The Hard Things
The most overused phrase of the past two years- “when things get back to normal.” It always makes me laugh a little. What do we even mean when we say “normal.” What is normal anyway? I think we all like to believe in a normal. But for as long as I remember, life has been mostly challenging. Seasons when everything is great are brief and typically go by unnoticed. It seems like the second you reach the peak of one mountain, there’s another hill in the near distance. Whether it’s family issues, a break-up, a natural disaster, financial hardship, rejection, depression, getting fired… life is full of hard. It’s consistent that way. Dependable, even. It will always be ready with one more curve ball as soon as you get comfortable.
I remember a time growing up when my life was a constant series of heartaches. When you’re young and living at home, most of life happens to you. When you aren’t old enough to have any control, you just have to roll with whatever life throws at you. As I got older, I learned that as an adult you can avoid certain kinds of heartaches, but life continues to throw challenges at you just the same. It is simply a different kind of hard.
We must learn to expect hard things. And we must learn to be resilient. I can’t think of anything that matches the value of resilience, in life, and especially in leadership. Khalil Gibran said, “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”
It is vital to understand that the difference is in how you react to hardship. No one can argue the temptation to hide away or run when things get hard. It’s in our very nature- fight or flight. But it is the choice between the two that makes all the difference. For a long time I let the things I went through cripple me, keeping me from moving forward. It wasn’t until I faced those things and overcame them that I was able to move forward and actually start living. We must face adversity head-on if we want to thrive in life. Otherwise we are just surviving. We must sit with the hard things and find a way to use them to grow our character.
So let’s shift our mindset on adversity. Get past the thinking of “if I can just get through this..” as if on the other side of this hardship everything will be peachy. Expect another hardship. Expect another challenge. Begin to think of the struggle as normal. Do not get discouraged or feel sorry for yourself, but instead be prepared. Use the experience to make you mentally tough. Once we face a challenge or two head-on we begin to build up an armor, what some call “thick skin.” It becomes second nature and suddenly we are knocking down obstacles left and right. And before you know it, the hard things don’t feel so hard anymore.
What may seem like a sad reality check is actually an encouraging realization. Once we realize that life is full of hard things, then we stop waiting for a day without them. The truth is, life happens while we are waiting and wishing for brighter days. But what if we truly embraced the hard things and used them to make us stronger instead? What if we let ourselves feel every moment and became more resilient on purpose?
If you are only happy when things are going great, then your life will only be partially happy. I want to be as happy as possible, so I know I need to be resilient.
Life is meant to be enjoyed! Every waking moment. We will miss out on the joy if we are constantly waiting for life to get better. Whether it’s a pandemic, financial hardship, difficulties at work, or whatever you’re facing.. face it head on. Face it afraid and face it brave. Learn to do hard things so you can live and lead to the fullest.
