three toxic traits that do not belong in leadership
As leaders, one of the most important subjects in our lives should be our own personal growth. It is easy to think once we’re in a leadership position that we have somehow “made it.” But the truth is, as a leader, learning and growth is just that much more important. Our development should be continual. Although no leader is perfect, a good leader is intentional about recognizing their flaws and striving to improve every day. I want to share a few common traits that are sure to be detrimental to our growth as leaders and professionals.
EGO
The best advice I ever heard was “Give up your right to be offended.” We are so easily offended and it is stunting our progress. Think about it. When someone offers you criticism, do you automatically get “in your feelings”? In general, we don’t like having our flaws pointed out or being told we are wrong. But what if we instead stepped back for a moment, really listened to the feedback, and considered what we could learn from it? We waste way too much energy being miserable in our needless offense. I have seen first hand that when you release your ego and realize not everything is about you, you allow yourself the freedom to learn from situations without taking offense.
To do this we must also release our need to be right. Consider there is always something else to learn about a situation, someone who knows better. If we believe we can learn from anyone, we are more open to what everyone has to say. For your own sake, learn to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I find it is best to believe everyone’s intentions are good, whether they are or not. If you keep that mindset, you’ll never be offended by anything and your mind will be open to learn so much more. Listen to everyone, take the helpful things to heart, and filter out the rest.
INSECURITY
I believe insecurity is a poison that affects everything we do. It blocks our minds from seeing other perspectives, hinders our judgement, and keeps us from taking risks for fear of judgement or failure. A good leader cannot be insecure. If you are not confident in what you bring to the table, no one else will be either. You cannot convince people to follow you if you are insecure in your own leadership. And you cannot make solid decisions because you are always wondering what someone else is going to think. Often insecurity stems from an inward focus. We tend to make ourselves the center of everything. To be an effective leader you must remember this- leadership is not about you, but about those you are leading.
Here’s the great thing- you don’t have to be the very best to be confident. Insecure leaders feel like they need to pretend they know it all because they don’t understand that it’s okay to not have all the answers. Be smart enough to know what you don’t know. Much of leadership is learned along the way and that means asking for help and using your resources. It’s important to also realize you aren’t always going to get it right. There is room for humanity in leadership. I can pinpoint a number of situations where I may have not made the best call. However, by being open minded and setting ego aside, I walked away from those situations with a understanding of how to handle them better next time. Do not be afraid to make mistakes. Learn from everything and lead with confidence.
COMPLACENCY
I have been a part of winning teams and experienced the success of being #1. It feels great and the hard work that led to it should undoubtedly be celebrated. The caveat is, once you’ve celebrated you have to move on. Keep your eyes forward. You cannot ride on a big win forever.
I had the opportunity to help open a hotel within a world renowned brand a few years back. We finished the year as #1 in service worldwide for our brand, and you better believe we celebrated. #1 out of over a thousand hotels is something to be proud of and our team was well-deserving. But once we had celebrated, life as we knew it continued. It was a new year and that meant full steam ahead. We remained #1 only by working even harder and striving to be even better. We understood that one success did not define us. We should celebrate getting to the top, but the top will continue to climb and therefore, so must we. The second we begin to sit still we’ll be passed up by the competition. Don’t let “good enough” be good enough. Good leaders are always reaching for better.
As leaders, we must examine ourselves continuously for areas of improvement. To move forward in success, we must unlearn the negative habits that will ultimately hold us back and stymie our success. We must release these toxic traits to experience the freedom to learn more and lead better.
