Dealing with conflict in your organization
I think we can all agree there are few things worse than having to spend forty hours a week in an environment where there is constant conflict. I imagine many of us would prefer to go to a peaceful, conflict-free workplace every day. It’s no secret none of us like dealing with conflict. But the fact is, no matter what industry you’re in, there is always going to be conflict amongst co-workers. As long as we work with other humans, conflict will remain inevitable as we all have different opinions and world views. As leaders, it is our job to be able to recognize it and address it before it escalates.
As Jeff Cochran said in his Next Level Leader podcast, “Unresolved conflict is like cancer.” Left untreated, it will only spread. If someone on your team is upset or disgruntled, you should not delay in addressing the issue. Avoiding conflict, even for a little while, will only result in a larger, more widespread issue. Generally people don’t calm themselves down. They are either going to let the problem fester and eventually do something irrational, or they are going to talk about it and spread the frustration amongst other employees. Addressing conflict as soon as it begins is the best way to keep it from spreading throughout your organization and maintain peace in your culture.
Just this week I had a spat between two employees who usually get along great that took me a bit by surprise. An argument broke out first thing in the morning about a technical aspect of the job that they disagreed on. I was able to mediate enough to clarify our procedure on the matter and send the team members on their way, but it was clear to me neither of them were at peace with the situation. As the morning progressed, I could tell it was affecting both of their moods and their ability to work through their day effectively. I knew I needed to circle back with both of them and get everyone back on the same page. I set aside time to have a thoughtful conversation with each of them before the day got away from me, providing them both more clarity and assurance. I reminded them that they are on the same team, sharing the same common goal and should not let disagreements or miscommunication hinder their ability to work together peacefully. It was important to make these conversations a priority because it turned out both employees needed more clarity in order to move forward comfortably.
More often than not, we put these conversations off or avoid them all-together. Addressing conflict or sensitive matters can often be uncomfortable and the fact is, we simply don’t want to feel uncomfortable. I can attest that I struggled with this as much as anyone. As a true introvert, I would much rather keep to myself and let situations work themselves out. Unfortunately, we all know that’s not how things work. As I have developed as a leader, I found that the best way to overcome this phobia is to practice as much as possible. Instead of avoiding or procrastinating the inevitable, I began facing these situations head on as soon as they arose. What I found is, the more difficult conversations I had, the easier they became to address. At first they required some prep. I have always been better on paper than face to face rapid fire, so I would jot down my thoughts ahead of time so I would not forget anything and reference my notes throughout the conversation. There is nothing wrong with that, and if you are anything like me I highly recommend it. Over time, as you become more and more comfortable with these types of conversations, it becomes easier to have them without notes or nerves. We must overcome the fear of uncomfortable situations as they are often necessary in effective leadership.
It is important to note that even if you don’t have an immediate resolution, it is crucial to address conflict as soon as possible. Sometimes a proper resolution takes time, but we must not let negative feelings fester in the meantime. As leaders we should de-escalate, answer questions, and promise a resolution in due time. At the very least, simply making sure everyone’s concerns are heard usually goes a long way. Sometimes the conflict involves emotion, even for us as leaders. In this case, it is vital to step away for a moment and make sure you are seeing the situation from all angles. I have found in situations like these my direction often changes after giving myself time to take the emotion out of things and see them clearly. This way we avoid making rash decisions in the heat of the moment, which would inevitably result in further conflict.
At the end of the day, we all want to avoid conflict in our businesses and organizations. The only way we are going to keep our workplace as peaceful and conflict-free as possible is by not avoiding or ignoring situations, but instead addressing them head-on and right away. As leaders, we are the peacemakers. We set the tolerance level for conflict in our workplace. We must learn to face the uncomfortable. The sooner we do this, the sooner we will find ourselves to be wiser and more effective leaders.
